What is Family Mediation?
Family Mediation is a process in which people reach agreements around issues that involve their immediate and extended family. A Mediator's role is to be a neutral person who has the necessary skills to help the people understand the issues from different perspectives which are often missed when people are in dispute.
Family Mediation is generally recognized for couples going through a Separation or Divorce but Mediation is not limited to just that. It is a tool used to assist all types of conflict such as disputes over a Family Inheritance, Neighbors in a disagreement, Family pets. You name it... If there is a personal dispute, a Family Mediator can help. At Step By Step Mediation Services, we specialize in helping Step Families overcome their conflicts as they learn to live with one another and as they go through various stages in their lives.
Family Mediation is not Counseling
A counselor is trained in a variety of therapeutic disciplines that are applied over a period of time to help an individual gain a better interpersonal perspective.
A Mediator is trained to help people who are experiencing conflict with another individual work out a solution.
The length of mediation time can vary depending on the number of people and the number of issues but generally speaking many family relations mediations will entail three or four sessions with each session lasting about two hours.
Step Family Mediation
The statistic is alarming: approximately 67% of second marriages fail when children are brought into the marriage.
The only way to stop this statistic from continuing is to help families before they turn to this last resort. However, there has not been a lot of effective help out in the trenches for Step Families. Step Families can not be thought of the same way as a Nuclear Family. Their needs are very different and distinct. There are a select few who have made it a point to learn as much as they can about Step Families and teach as many Step Families as they can that hard work and perseverance, will help them succeed.
An extremely effective way to help Step Families is through a Mediation process with an experienced trained Mediator who is also trained in recognizing the uniqueness of Step Families.
The Mediation starts with the couple and depending on the children's ages and situations, they too can take part in the Mediation which in turn helps make all the family members part of the solution.
Step Families are Step Families – They are not Blended Families (yet)
Over the years "step" was synonymous with "wicked" or "cruel" so Professionals who studied or dealt with Step Families started calling them "Blended" or "Combined" families in order to soften the name association. At Step By Step Mediation Services we call Step Families... Step Families. In our view a Step Family needs to do just that... Take one step at a time and learn to first of all coexist with one another and eventually respect and appreciate each other. In the beginning the family has hardly "Blended" into one big happy family. Generally it's the exact opposite.
Our glossary of terms is slightly different than some others in this field;
Step Family – Where two adults come together in a relationship and one or both bring children from a prior relationship into the new one. Step includes married and common-law relationships.
Blended - Where two adults start out in a Step Family Relationship and a child or children are born from the new relationship. The family is now "Blended" since all members of the family have the same common thread of being related to this new child.
This may feel confusing to people – should you call yourselves a Step Family or Blended Family. We suggest you call yourselves which ever feels best. Whether you call yourselves Step or Blended there is one heck of a lot of work ahead of you! When you see us making reference to one or the other at least you know what we are meaning.
Separation & Divorce Mediation
Family Mediation has proven an invaluable tool to help couples through separation and divorce. A Family Mediator aids the couple to reach agreements concerning:
Custody
Access
Guardianship
Child Support
Spousal Support
Division of Assets
We are trained in providing legal information concerning the various aspect of a Separation or Divorce. However, we do not provide legal advice. It is recommended that the parties who have made agreements during the Mediation seek independent legal advice. A Mediator will draft up the Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which the parties can then use to help form the legal separation or divorce.
The benefits to having Mediation sessions prior to legalizing the Separation or Divorce are many. These are some key Benefits;
- Usually much quicker than having to deal with two separate lawyers.
- Point #1 also equates to less expensive. The quicker the process is the less amount of money needs to be spent.
- The control of making agreements is in the parties’ hands rather than a third party such as a Judge.
- High success rate of not only reaching agreements but keeping the agreements in place and following through on them.
